I had a rough day yesterday. The moms in the neighborhood have started a playgroup for the kids Boo’s age once-a-week. I got the invite two weeks ago and the time/day was Tuesdays at 10:30. I’ve been totally pumped for this weekly playtime. I sometimes feel quite isolated being a stay-at-home-mom. I miss my pals and having places to go and people to see, and not having to schedule personal calls around nap times, and trips to Baja Fresh to chat about our weekend plans, and just being able to GO when I feel like it. I’m getting off track here.
At 10:25 I packed up the kids and we walked over to the house where play group was being hosted. The mom answered the door and looked at me confused. I said, “Hi, did I get the time wrong for play group?” She said, “Oh, yeah, it was changed last week to 9:00 instead of 10:30. I’m sorry. We had a really fun time, though. You should come next week!” I smiled, but inside I had that feeling like I was the last one chosen for kick-ball. I actually started crying on the way home. What’s wrong with me?
Boo, sensing my sadness said, “Are you sad, Mommy? It’s okay, I love you.” I couldn’t tell her why I was crying, and I felt totally silly doing so. Perhaps it’s because I was really looking forward to making some friends and helping Boo to make some, too. It could have been that I just don’t seem to get out much to socialize, even in church (since I’m in the nursery the whole time or else up-front teaching). As a result, I cling to every enrichment night or book club meeting or play group/park day as a chance to talk with other people! Maybe it was the fact that I realize that besides reading, I really don’t have a hobby that I enjoy. All hobbies that seem fun take too much money or have a time commitment that I just can’t manage with two kids.
So, after spending a rough day feeling sorry for myself, I went to bed and had a marvelous dream. You were all in it! Train was cooking up an amazing meal, Onthego mom was waving to me on her bike, Heidi was barking orders at us that we were running late, and Shelese was even there as my dinner buddy, and she was going to do some dancing for us afterwards. (my dreams make NO sense). Heather and Lindsey made little vignette appearances - by the way, I loved your hair in my dream, Lindsey! Anyway, I woke up with the feeling that we had all hung out like the old days. It was marvelous. I woke up totally happy and content, determined to keep trying to make friends and search for a hobby that helps me feel engaged and happy. As Anne Shirley said, “Tomorrow is always fresh…”
Thanks for coming over for a visit last night, friends! I miss you.