Saturday, August 15, 2009

Problems? Questions? Anxieties?

I had a math teacher who would finish up every lesson by saying. "Problems? Questions? Anxieties?"

New Mommy - right after Yaks' birth.

I’m not normally an anxious person. I can kinda roll with the punches with most things that come my way. Several weeks ago we were outside doing a little weeding and our neighbor Dell came over to chat. He shared a dream (nightmare) he had that I went into labor during a snowstorm and that Josh was out of town and he had to deliver the baby! We all chuckled about it, but I could tell that under the chuckles it really was his worst fear and he would probably not stop worrying about it coming to pass until I actually give birth. Poor Dell.I’ve been feeling anxious as well. I’m almost 38 weeks. As this little girl squirms, kicks and jabs my insides, I know she’ll be on the receiving end of such treatment once her siblings get their hands on her! Poor baby. You stay safe inside Mom for as long as you can! Three kids. I’ll be totally outnumbered! I wish we could sprout as many arms as we have children. That would be really helpful.


My biggest worry with this new little one is the first few months. I’m not a great newborn mother, friends. The exhaustion, the crazy emotions, the pains of nursing, the hair loss, and trying to divide my time and keep the house up are so difficult for me. Plus the fact that I just have fussy babies! They aren’t colicky, they just fuss! 


Amy and little Boo -- after one of the many sleepless nights

Little Yakkers was particularly challenging, and it's still pretty fresh in my mind. I’ve said before that if I could carry a baby for three additional months in exchange for giving birth to a calm, scheduled, not fussy three-month-old, I would! I really would! I just cannot relate to the moms who want to deliver early and can’t wait to NOT be pregnant and who “just LOVE newborns”. My mom shares my feelings, but has great reminders like, “Each bad night is a night you will never have to do again.” “just hang on for three months. Everything gets better after three months!” and my favorite, “You may have tough babies, but just look at what great KIDS they turn out to be!” I do have great kids. They are perfect for the type of mom I am. Now, they aren’t perfect by any means, but neither am I!




7 comments:

Trish and Matt said...

Know that you are not alone! I am not a great newborn mommy either. Perhaps that's why I'm still dragging my feet on going for #3.

Thank heavens you have a wonderful mom who provides you with such encouragement.

TANGENT: I'll never forget, after staying with my parents for a couple weeks after #2 was born (and in the midst of a transatlantic move), my mom said to me one day: "I've never met such a difficult baby. I just don't know how you're going to survive him." Gee thanks for the vote of confidence, mom! As if I wasn't thinking the VERY same thing in my head already. It was the last thing I needed to hear! END OF TANGENT.

Ames, I'm thinking about you every day and wondering if today is going to be the day. Thanks for the update. Know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. You'll be great. I know you can do it!

Sarah said...

I'm also thinking each day if today is your day...

I'm afraid I already fall under that category of pregnant moms who want to be done NOW. But, I need to remind myself how much harder things get once you can't just carry them along inside. Not so quiet. Not so easy to get out. Not so easy to predict how the day will go. Not so easy...

You'll be alright. Find a happy corner to rock in! I'm sure I'll be doing the same soon and reminding myself of your mom's advice, "it will be better in 3 months." There's hope in that, right?!?

laurenthequeen said...

I wish I wasn't on the other side of the country and that there was I way I could help through that first three months.

We love you and will be praying for a baby who is laid back and content.

Dianna said...

You will be great, Amy. My second baby was the most difficult just because all of a sudden I had to divide myself in half. The third baby was the most difficult as far as personality and sleep problems. It sounds like you have your most difficult baby conquered, so this one should be easy. My bit of advice: for a multi-level home you need to have multi-level diapering supply kits to save the up and down stair runs. We are praying for a safe delivery and a peaceful, calm baby girl for you. Enjoy!

Allison said...

No worries Amy. You'll do fine. You've survived two before now and they've made you stronger. You are a wonderful mother. I'm not a great newborn mom myself. I get soooo irritable and aggitated when I can't figure out what's wrong with my fussy babies. None of mine were colicky either, but fussed nonetheless. If need be, take 5, say a prayer, take a deep breath and count to ten. And remember this...at least you're not doing it alone or with four boys! LOL!! The challenges we face, only make us stronger. Best of luck and congrats!

Mrs. Grindstaff said...

The blessing that you have now is that Boo is old enough to help a little. It sounds as if both she and Yaks are already very helpful kids. Don't forget to put them (and Josh) to work whenevr you can - as go-phers, to rock the cradle, as midnight rockers - whatever they can!

Liz said...

I saw your first picture and thought, "How come no one told me Amy had her baby??" I am glad you still have a couple of weeks to gear yourself up! You never know, maybe she will be a calm, easy-going baby. (I've heard of such things happening... Maybe just rumors...)