I have a question about imagination and pretending. How do we learn to do it? I remember doing some really imaginative stuff when I was a child, but I can't remember learning it. We had lots of snails around when we lived in California. We put on a snail circus (trapeze, high wire, bicycles, etc), and we let them "perform", we built Star Wars scenes, had muscle men competitions, and perhaps the most creative of all, we would put on an airband Concert of Neenis every Sunday during our mandatory "quiet" time in our rooms! We had costumes (underwear and tights on our heads), stage names (Tootie, Blair, Hugs and Tugs, Rice, Ross, and the star of the show, Nenis), procedures (hand-written invites slid under doors), rules (once someone gets hurt and starts crying, the band has to take a break) and a whole lot of fun.I've lately been noticing several posts from you friends about your kids and pretending and using their imaginations. Is that something we are taught, or is it just a gift that we get, like the ability to play piano or to run fast? Or, is it something that just develops eventually when they are good and ready like potty training or reading? I'm honestly curious, because Boo doesn't seem to have much imagination. She's a little less mature than your average almost-four-year-old. She tends to do things about six months after I hear others her age doing them. She'd much rather spend hours constructing things, only to knock them down, dump stuff out or go outside and dig something up, throw something around or ride really fast on her bike! She likes to color (monochromatic, quickly and have every spot covered with color), but not draw. I was seeing if she would draw some people with me this past week, and she got so frustrated that the eyes didn't look right, she started crying. It was a short art session! She can entertain herself for hours making little meals or setting up scenes in her doll house, with Yaks, but she's never uses that all-familiar "pretend" voice. You know that high-pitched, "Hello, Mrs. Gullywater! Let's make some lunch for you. Would you like some lemonade?" Is this perhaps because Yaks can converse with her, and there is really no need for a Mrs. Gullywater when she has a perfectly responsive brother to play with?
Should I be concerned? Is there something that I should be doing? I was #3 in my family. Does it make a difference having siblings older (or 18 months younger) than you are? Have you "worked" with your child on this, or has it just come naturally? I'm mostly concerned because I think pretending and imagining are not only important, but geez, they're fun! I wouldn't want her to miss out on her own version of the Concert of Neenis, simply because I didn't take the time to teach her. Please advise.
5 comments:
I never pretended things on my own either. I really think that you come with a natural inclination for imagination. I would play with dolls but I wouldn’t make them talk or do anything. I would just get them dressed and tidy the play kitchen. James was younger but a good four years so I don’t think siblings have anything to do with it. However I do think that it can be learned and fostered. Obviously you are helping her by giving her opportunities to try and noticing her strengths/weakness’. I hope I can be a good mom like you Amy!
I don't remember playing a lot of pretend, but I could be wrong. Lin was (still is) great at it. Little Man is picking it up and has different voices when he plays. I notice it when he is playing by himself and I overhear what he's saying to his toys. We also give him "little man time". That's when we are losing our patience with him and need a break then we send him to his room to play with his toys. But making the kids play by themselves when they entertain each other seems like it would be punishing you more than teaching them. Plus I remember a video that you posted a while ago of Boo and Yaks playing singing time. That was excellent, she did a great job of prentending.
You've had me thinking all day.
Most of it comes down to the old debate of "nature/nurture," I think. Nature...I do think some kids come more able to imagine than others. Nurture...certainly such "dramatic playing times" can be prompted and facilitated by a loving parent.
Three things I might try (which you probably already do...but there can't be enough)...
1) Demonstrate different ways to "play" so that Jane can see it modeled. Get down on the floor and talk and use the toys in different ways. Just let her observe what you're doing, and then back out of the scene and let you try things out. She might pick up on some of it.
2) Ask open-ended questions like "what else could you do with this rope?" Exposure to different ways of manipulating a toy might broaden the thinking. Don't let her think there is only one "correct" way in play/art/etc or the child often shuts down afraid of doing things "wrong."
3) Use books...good picture books...to get the ideas going. Find a story where a character does something that Jane could possibly mimick a few minutes later.
Amy, I wouldn't worry too much. Jane interacts like many three/four year olds I've seen...it sounds like she is testing things/toys out to see how they react...and then losing interest and moving onto the next...eventually she'll return and find other ways to use things. Give her time (for the nature to come out) and alot of exposure (for the nurturing)
Ok that's enough rambling...way too long. Hope something helps. (especially the sentence of don't worry too much!)
I do think it is a lot harder for an older child to pretend. Mostly because she (or he, in my case) spends a lot of time with adults in their formative years. They try to do what they see you doing. I think Sarah is right, that (one of) the keys is to pretend yourself. When I play with the kids they think it is hilarious. Then they spend hours re-playing the same scene we just pretended together.
From your posts, it seems like Boo pretends to be you a lot, doing the things that you do. That is still pretending, and using her imagination. She is just building on the foundation of the things she knows. As she grows, she will get more foundations under her. I doubt you were playing the air guitar at three!
-Maggie
I agree with the nature/nurture theory. I think there are some things we can do as mothers to encourage our kids' imaginations (reading, role playing, dressing up, etc) but I think some kids just come more apt to imagine.
I know that outside of reading, I have done NOTHING to encourage Goose's creativity, yet she is wildly creative. She spends most of her time trying to get me to see the vision she's already got going on in her head so I can play accordingly. I can't even keep up with her most of the time.
But though Goose can pretend with the best of them, she struggles with anything requiring large motor skills. I have spent HOURS trying to get her to ride a big kid bike and we have yet to really make any progress there. Same is true of some difficult fine motor skills, like cutting, tearing, buttoning buttons, etc.
I don't think you have anything to worry about. Boo sounds like she's doing great, and I know you read to her a lot and give her tons of opportunities to experience new things. I'm sure she'll be sliding notes under Yaks' door inviting him to come perform with her in no time! ;)
And if she doesn't, no big deal -- she's got so many other talents and ways she likes to explore.
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