Friday, April 25, 2008

It's a Conspiracy

I think our “stuff” is conspiring against us.

Have you ever noticed that appliances break in pairs? I’m convinced they have conversations with one another when we are sleeping.

This is how ours probably went:

Washer: Pssst…Bullet! You awake?

Silver Bullet (Honda Civic): Yeah, man…what up?

Washer: The owners are asleep. You know they’re going on a vacation next week, don’t you?

Bullet: That’s right! He, he, he…You thinkin’ what I’m thinking?

Washer: Definitely. I just noticed that there are about four piles of laundry to be washed. I’m going to send out that cool HF error on my system that tells them there’s something wrong with the water flow, causing the wife to totally LOSE it and not be able to get her clothes washed before her trip. Awesome.

Bullet: Oh, then do that thing you do!

Washer: You mean sometimes not show any error and drive her into a false sense of security that I’m fixed, only to act up again at unsuspecting times?

Bullet: YEEES.

Washer: Consider it done, my friend.

Bullet: Hey, I thought you were a new washer, man. Didn’t they like…just buy you a year ago and you replaced that hunk of junk Maytag?

Washer: Little did they know, my model is full of flaws, the manufacturer refuses to fix them, and they would have been better off keeping the Maytag. Fools.

Bullet: Oh, speaking of the wife. You know, she hates driving unreliable cars. It totally makes her nervous. All I have to do is click on my “check engine” light, and she suddenly avoids driving me at all costs. Serves ‘em right. Those darn kids have totally trashed my interior.

Washer: Awe, come on, you can do better than “check engine” light, can’t you?

Bullet: Well, yeah. Maybe I’ll start to shudder when I get driven over 40 mph and make a funny sound when I’m idling that makes them think that I’m a manual car and about to stall! Then they’ll take it into the shop and the repair guys will be TOTALLY clueless as to what’s wrong. That’ll show ‘em.

Washer: Yeah, that’ll show ‘em.


kthom said...

HI-larious...that is what you are. I miss that! So I suppose that you are at the laundry mat right about now, or the car dealership...??? Did you eat any Rice-a-roni on your trip, maybe a loaf of sourdough???

On The Go Family said...

One of the funniest things I've read in ages!!!

Sarah said...

The washer too? They really must stay up at night and make plans. FUNNY READ. Now, if only the reality of it were as funny. Good lukc getting things fixed/figured out.

Shelese said...

Ha, that was really funny Amy. I love it that you can laugh through things. Great sense of humor. bummer about your car and washer though, no fun.

steph said...

Ohhh, I'm so sorry to hear it. The only thing worse than car problems is laundry problems. Maybe your neigbor won't mind doin' a load of underwears for ya? :) I honestly just did a load of those for my neighbor just a few weeks ago when she faced the same problem... Bryn asked that evening as I left for work, "Um, do I have to switch her whites from the washer to the dryer?" Ha, ha.