Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Lend Me Your Ears

I've been thinking a lot lately about LISTENING. I don't think I do nearly enough of it. I was watching an Oprah episode the other day, where they had a very honest matchmaker telling this poor group of single women what they were doing wrong when it comes to dating and relationships. One woman was deemed a "one-upper". She would ask her date a question, and then one-up him after he responded; making him feel belittled and deflated.

Oprah said: "I've learned that listening is the common denominator in the human experience. You become the star when you learn how to listen, because listening validates the other person."

Then a few days later I was watching all of the coverage on President Hinckley and listened to President Eyring's talk during his funeral. He spoke about President Hinckley's voice and how he will miss it. He said, "I have heard that voice so many times, when a difficult problem facing the church was brought to him. He would listen carefully, perhaps asking a question or two, to be sure that he understood the difficulty or magnitude facing us. And that those who brought the problem to him knew that he understood..."

So often during the day I have a literal grocery list of things I want to tell JB when he comes home. I have them stored in my head and I sometimes have to fight the urge to "fire at will" once he comes in the door. He's had a hard day at work and his "work" is often just beginning when he comes home with church meetings and spending time w/ the kids, who are only awake for a few more hours. I want to do a better job being a good listening ear and asking questions that will help others feel the love I have for them, because I care enough about them to listen.

Thanks for listening! :)


Sarah said...

I hear you! (no pun intended)...I have the "to-talk-about-when-husband-gets-home" list too. I have to force myself to ask "How was your day?" and then REALLY listen. I admit that it is very frustrating when I don't get asked the same questions about my day though... so the talking and listening HAS to go both ways.

I heard the same thing said about Pres. Hinckley that you are trying track down...I want to say it from Pres. Eyring...but don't quote me on that.

Another favorite thing said about him during the past week came from when the media was interviewing his in-laws (wife's family) and they talked about how he walked into their home kitchen and started explaining all the changes that he thought should be made...the cupboards there the sink there...to which his wife bluntly said it was her kitchen and that it should be left how she decided. He smiled/laughed and left the room! He knew how to listen to that!!!

love.boxes said...

I want to do better at this too. We are a family of talkers and interupters.

love.boxes said...

.. oh and I love what you wrote by the way. :)

Amy said...

Yes, definitely needs to go both ways. Good point, Sarah.

Amy said...

P.S. You were right, Sarah - It was President Eyring! I need to go edit my blog. Thanks!