Julia Holton Todd, Worthington Ward, Columbus Ohio North Stake
An experience a few years ago taught me a valuable lesson. A woman in my ward named Rebecca was expecting her fourth child. A few weeks before the delivery, she learned the baby had died. No one in the ward knew until the baby was born, and everyone was reeling in shock at the news. My husband told me I should visit Rebecca. Losing a child was my ultimate fear, and I couldn’t deal with her grief, let alone my own. So I didn’t do anything.
My mother, who was also in the ward, made a loaf of bread and went to visit Rebecca. But my mother later told me, “I wish I hadn’t gone. I just made it worse. I sat on her couch and cried the whole time.” I felt a little better about not visiting.
About a year later, at a ward party in the park, I happened to be sitting at the same table as Rebecca and a new sister in the ward. The new sister had also lost a baby, and I could hear them talking. Rebecca said, “The hardest thing for me was that almost no one did anything.”
I was overcome with guilt. I slid down the bench and said to Rebecca, “I was one of those who didn’t do anything. I just didn’t know what to do.”
Rebecca was forgiving, but she answered, “Well, no one did except your mom. She came over and we had a good cry together!”
My point is: do something! Just be there. Follow the Spirit and let your friend know you care, even if you think your efforts are inadequate. It’s nice to make brownies or bread or even dinner, but sometimes all they need is you.