Gently Raise the Sacred Strain

After weeks of having to keep a lid on this, today I'm free to share. JB got sustained and set apart as a counselor in our LDS ward bishopric. JB felt the call coming for several months. I, being the supportive wife that I am told him he was imagining things and to buckle down and focus on the already demanding calling that he had. Nice. Two weeks ago we got the phonecall from the stake asking to see us. For JB it was the first restful night in months to finally know that the "something that's coming" was finally here. This sent my brain into overload wondering what it was going to be (read as: "Please not Bishop.") After meeting with the Stake Presidency, accepting the new call and meeting our new bishop, we went home and my brain again went into overload with thoughts of flying solo during sacrament meeting for the next 3-5 years with two kids.

I wish I could say that today went smoothly. I wish I could say that the kids were little angels and that they fell asleep in my lap while browsing through The Friend magazine. I wish I could say that ward members were staring at me, admiring my mothering capabilities. I wish I could say any of these things. Well. Here was the reality.

1.) I got my hair done yesterday and instead of getting it colored lighter, I decided to go darker and I HATE it. All of my clothes look different, my makeup looks bad, and it's changed my overall "look". I also got bangs, which I now regret, so the morning getting ready procedure was less-than-pleasant. Tears were shed.

2.) JB's mom and sister came to sit with us (thank you!) for our sacrament meeting. Yaks started bawling "Da-daaaaas" the minute he had to leave for the stand. Nana was able to suppress his cries by feeding him squares of mint gum, which he would chew and then spit out into my hand. We also kept him busy with her cell phone. I hope he didn't call or text anyone during church. Boo said, "Thanks for coming to my church! Come again yestertime!" Nana is my hero.

3.) We spilled an entire sippy cup of water onto the floor, which Yaks sat in, causing him to complain about "wet-wet" pants.

4.) During the setting-apart, Yaks was playing with a ball of play-doh, which we took with us from nursery, only he used it as a ball to huck at other people with excessive force. I think he only hit one person. Yaks also slipped away from me, climbed under the Bishop's desk/table, found the phone and started dialing! Then the phone was off the hook long enough that it started making that "eh-eh-eh-eh-eh" noise that EVERYONE could hear. I only wish I were kidding. I wanted to die or vaporize myself on the spot. I actually thought that if I thought about it long enough, I could time-travel myself out of there like Hiro from Heroes. My thoughts went like this: "Why doesn't my son obey me? Why does he smile at me when he knows he's doing something wrong? HOW did he know there was a phone back there? Should I crawl under the table and get him out? Is this the longest setting apart in history!" I ended up disconnecting the phone by unclipping the receiver from the cord. Then he found the Bishop's candy jar (out of reach) and discovered that the handles on his desk made a fun sound when he picked them up and let them go. Heaven help me.

5.) JB's sister took him out after that episode and back to nursery. After I went to go relieve her, I found him fast asleep in a fetal position on the floor. I guess he'd screamed his head off the entire time and then just tuckered himself right out. I changed his stinky diaper, and he slept through the whole thing and for most of the remaining block. I actually got to hear part of the Relief Society lesson!

6.) I lost his binkie at church. I think those things disappear into oblivion once they hit the floor! We lose one every Sunday, but we only had ONE. We seem to be in this predicament every Sunday. I should buy stock with the Soothie binkie company. I feel like their #1 customer.

Well, enough complaining. I know it will get easier, won't it? I'm grateful for this chance we will have to serve, and for the chance I have to allow JB to grow in a new calling. His testimony in church was tender and he's looking forward to supporting our new bishop with everything he's got. It was interesting that in our old ward, JB served as Varsity Scout Coach, then YM president and then 2nd Counselor for a short time. When we moved here, he got called as Varsity Scout Coach, YM President and now the 2nd Counselor! I guess it just goes to show you that the Lord has certain experiences in mind for each of us, and if we are open and willing to serve, those experiences (and blessings) can be ours, no matter where we live.

Now, can anyone help me with some ways to entertain my kids in sacrament meeting?