Dear Crankey and The Lady,
Greetings. I'm Amy, the mom of the house. We haven't been introduced because apparently, you are invisible. About a day after I wrote this post, my daughter started waking up in the night hysterical because she saw "a lady" in her closet. I guess all I had to do was write about my concern for my daughter's lack of imagination for you two to show up. You TWO. Crankey (pronounced KRAN-KEY), I'm not sure if you are a guy or a girl or what really your deal is, but you wield a sword, and that concerns me. Swords and dark closets are not a happy combination for an almost four-year-old. It's scary for her to see you two in her closet in the middle of the night, and the terror-filled screams aren't helping any of us sleep! She's even joined us in bed a few times, and that hasn't been a great nights' sleep either.
We've tried asking our daughter if you say anything or what you want, and there is no answer. Last night, we left the hall bathroom light on (all night), and we had Dad go in to inspect the premises, and secure the closet door, but this didn't seem to deter you. Could you help a mother out? Could you slide a note under the closet door or come in MY closet and give me a hint as to your wants and wishes? I'm happy to accommodate you in any way possible.
Come to think of it, there's another closet right next door - a little boy named Yaks, who would LOVE to have you come for a visit! He'll pepper you with the same questions that we get when we're trying to put him to bed:
Where's my fan? Is it bwoken? Is it at Gwama's house? I want my fan! Mom, could I have a dwink? I NEED a dwink! Mom, I wanna wear Cwithmath dammies. Mom, could you ree me a stowie? I'm soakie wet. I need a change. Mom, what you doin' in here? Could I jus come and see? Could I jus west in here for jus a leeto minute?
Now, Lady and Crankey, doesn't that sound like fun? He'll keep you entertained and busy all night long! Bottom line is, we'd like you to stop buggin' our little girl. It's cramping her night-time style, and ours right along with it! You have 24 hours to comply.
With thanks and concern,
MOM
P.S. This message will self-destruct
6 comments:
HeHeHe! Who knew you really didn't want the huge imagination in your girl and not such a long list of questions from your boy...(at least NOT at bed time, right?)
Ask/Post...and you recieved!
And you thought she wasn't imaginative ...
Amy, you are hilarious. I adore you and that great letter to the monters. Can't wait to see you again!
I'm so sending you that Bearenstain Bears book as soon as we have a job!
That's hilarious, Ames. What if you give Jane something to "defend" herself with? Like a flashlight. I don't know anything about parenting, so maybe this idea would totally backfire.
I love the idea of sending them to Ben's room. Maybe they were in there originally, but left because they were tired of all of his questions. ha!
You are such a creative writer!
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